Mama Mondays - Spring Cleaning Yourself

There's so much information, articles, self-help books and people talking about happiness.  I think happiness is a subjective term and can really only be defined be you.  I was looking for tools to assess happiness.  Yes, there are validated measures of happiness that are used in research, but for the purpose of Mama Mondays I am posting a link to Oprah's website.  There you will find a quiz.

I think it's a decent quiz because if you answer honestly, and why not, no one will know who you are when you submit your results, you will get some insight into the areas that could be causing you to feel unhappy.  And with that insight, you can begin to clean house and use those insights to move forward.

  For example, if you are someone who focuses on those who have hurt you and this quiz brings that to your attention, the next step is to think about why that may be?  Why do you allow those people to have so much power in your life?  Or, if you are someone who feels you are just waiting for all things in your life to be perfect or that one thing to happen before you will feel your life has begun, look at that a little deeper.  What's the significance of those things to you and your happiness?  What would happen if those things never happened?  Are you going to put your life on hold?

http://www.oprah.com/spirit/The-Are-You-Happy-Quiz

Identifying these things is the first step towards a happier life.  Sometimes journaling about them on a consistent basis helps gain a better understanding about these feelings.  Other times it's talking to our  trusted friends, family or spouses and getting their feedback.  And of course, there's always the option of  talking to a therapist.   You can find therapists through your health insurance provider and a website I think is helpful, www.psychologytoday.com , where you can read therapist's profiles and often see a photo.

Mama Mondays

Because you will have cause to get dressed up this spring and summer and break in a new pair of sandals!  


A friend introduced me to blister Band-Aids a few years ago, and I have used them every spring as my feet emerge from a long winter in boots and begin their seasons of freedom.  They are a little pricier that regular Band-Aids, but they work.  The won't slide, ride up or peel off even after a shower.  They are a bit thicker than regular Band-Aids and are made of a different material that looks like your own skin.  It has a cushioned gel pad to protect the blister! This is a good thing with open toe shoes.  You don't want to be that girl with a Band-Aid on every toe with a new pair of sandals.  It's not a good look.  You know it.  They come in a fancy silver box.  Keep some in your bag just in case!

 

Mama Mondays - delayed

Sorry about the delay with Mama Mondays.  My daughter is sick and every time I sat down to type yesterday she would walk over to me with her arms up in the air and start to cry.  She needed some comforting.

Anyhow, this will definitely not be news to some of you, but I've told so many people about this lately who didn't know about it that I thought it was worth a post.

Having manicured fingernails makes me feel put together.  But with a child and all that goes along with that, having time for a manicure, taking the time for that manicure to dry and getting a manicure that lasts.  Well, that is just about as hard as finding the holy grail.  But that is no longer true!

Creative Nail Designs came out with the Shellac manicure over a year ago. It is for natural nails only, doesn't ruin them and it is awesome!  Why?  Because it lasts for up to three weeks and could be longer if your nails didn't grow, but they do.  It stays shiny the entire time, and when you walk out of the salon, your nails are bone dry!  Yes, TOTALLY dry.  You can put your hands in that huge handbag of yours to fish out your keys and there won't be a smudge to be seen!  It is probably one of the best things to come out for busy Moms!

Check out this link to find your nearest location.  http://www.cnd.com/Consumer.aspx

Mama Mondays

The craziness and stress of motherhood are often offset by a good run, walk or workout, childcare permitting, for me.  It's a proven fact that exercise increases endorphins and endorphins make you happy.  This is something for you and not only will it help your mood, it will get you ready for the impending warmer weather and wearing less clothes.  Yes, your child will want you to get in the pool with them!

If you can't find childcare, get that baby in the stroller and head out with your iPod.  Yes, you can hear your baby if your iPod is on low.   No this is not neglectful!  There is nothing better than a good song to take on a run, walk or drive in your car!

This song is a song you will not regret adding to your iPod or MP3 player.

It's Anberlin's song, Impossible.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjE_2fFMnG0

Mama Mondays

I was out with a friend of mine whom I have know since college.  It's important, I think, to have people who knew you before you were a wife/partner and a mother, because those are the people to go to when you feel that you have lost every ounce that made you, YOU!

We were talking about lots of stuff that changed after marriage and children, and I was surprised, but then not so surprised, when she mentioned a lot of the same issues I've been struggling with, like feeling like she had lost herself and no longer did the things that made her happy.  I think we all struggle with this and the thing that will save us all from falling into depths of despair and depression is committing ourselves to taking the time we need to nurture ourselves.  Whether that means forming a book club, a wine tasting club, a running club, or engaging in some activity that you love yourself, you must do it.  No one else is responsible for your own happiness, but you.

Sit down and make a list of the things that make you happy.  Once it's completed pick  something on the list that you can do at least once per week and commit to staying with it.  No excuses!  I would love to hear what you've chosen.

Mama Mondays

This is for all the Mama's out there whose time is limited.  So, with that, I mean all of us.

 Each Monday I will post something just for us. Nothing child related, I promise.  These will be fun things you can do for yourself to recharge the batteries. 

I'm a therapist, currently practicing part-time after the birth of my daughter.  The one thing I see consistently in my practice amongst my patients who are Mothers is that few, if any, really schedule any time for themselves.   This is also true amongst my Mom friends.  Usually when this discussion comes up I'm asked, what do I mean by that, 'time for myself'?

I mean a chunk of interrupted time that is solely for you that you stick to on a consistent basis.  I get it, it's hard to do, I know because I lost the ability to do this myself.  I used to make time for myself, I know I did it's just really hard to remember.  To tell you the truth, I have to think real hard to imagine what things were like for me before my life became scented with poop and curdled milk.  I realize this is a problem.  I thought I was a pretty cool person with lots of interests before the energizer bunny emerged from my womb, but I haven't seen that person in a long time.  I miss her.

I liken Moms to watering cans.  We supply the water that nurtures the seedlings.  But what happens when there is no more water in the watering can?  It has to be filled and it has to be filled by you!  Giving yourself some time consistently each week that has nothing to do with child care, but with something that you were passionate about before the birth of your children fills that watering can.

So for today, I am introducing you to www.dailylit.com.  Maybe not introducing you since some of you may have heard of it before.

Dailylit.com is a website that will send you a small portion of a book, of your choice, everyday.  You decide when  you want it sent and it will arrive then.  For those of you who feel you have no time to sink into that classic you want to read, want to tackle Russian literature or that romance novel that would be a welcome escape, here's your chance to read in digestible portions.  It may take a while to get through a book, but you will have something to talk about at that next cocktail party with your childless friends instead of sounding like a complete bore talking about how long it took you to cross reference websites and ratings of that convertible car seat that you still haven't purchased.  Snore!

  Check it out and let me know what you think.