To be perfectly honest, I'm a manners freak. I am.
I also realize that if I go around expecting people to be as polite as I would like them to be I will live a very disappointed existence. But, 'please' and 'thank you'? Well, that should just be a given. It's the basic of all manners.
I've been emphasizing please and thank you when I am out with my daughter since it's clear her language and comprehension of language is getting more sophisticated. So, last week I was visiting my parents and it occurred to me that I've developed this overcompensating manners thing because my Dad often times lacks them.
I was sitting feeding my daughter in her highchair when my Dad says to my Mom, "get me some iced tea." I snapped my head around like Linda Blair in the exorcist and said "PLEASE" (For clarification, I should say that this isn't the first time this has happened, it's a common occurrence hence my reaction). He looked at me like I was nuts and said that he was going to say 'thank you.' To which I retorted, 'that doesn't make up for not saying, please. Those are basic manners'. To which he said, 'let's not overdo it.' WHAT?!?! Yes, this actually happened. Somehow, I survived my childhood with some manners and an ability to write thank you notes. Thanks, Mom.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Belly button discovery
My daughter discovered her belly button recently. She loves it. So much so that it's turning red from all the poking she's doing. She not only loves hers but seeks out others too to make sure they didn't get gipped, I imagine. For the most part she hasn't tried to do this out in public yet, but I'm sure the time is fast approaching. Better start the crunches.
Her recent discovery is quite a gift. Why? Because it's readily available, serves as a distraction, can turn a frown upside down in a minute and you can't lose it!!.
Her recent discovery is quite a gift. Why? Because it's readily available, serves as a distraction, can turn a frown upside down in a minute and you can't lose it!!.
Mama Mondays
This is for all the Mama's out there whose time is limited. So, with that, I mean all of us.
Each Monday I will post something just for us. Nothing child related, I promise. These will be fun things you can do for yourself to recharge the batteries.
I'm a therapist, currently practicing part-time after the birth of my daughter. The one thing I see consistently in my practice amongst my patients who are Mothers is that few, if any, really schedule any time for themselves. This is also true amongst my Mom friends. Usually when this discussion comes up I'm asked, what do I mean by that, 'time for myself'?
I mean a chunk of interrupted time that is solely for you that you stick to on a consistent basis. I get it, it's hard to do, I know because I lost the ability to do this myself. I used to make time for myself, I know I did it's just really hard to remember. To tell you the truth, I have to think real hard to imagine what things were like for me before my life became scented with poop and curdled milk. I realize this is a problem. I thought I was a pretty cool person with lots of interests before the energizer bunny emerged from my womb, but I haven't seen that person in a long time. I miss her.
I liken Moms to watering cans. We supply the water that nurtures the seedlings. But what happens when there is no more water in the watering can? It has to be filled and it has to be filled by you! Giving yourself some time consistently each week that has nothing to do with child care, but with something that you were passionate about before the birth of your children fills that watering can.
So for today, I am introducing you to www.dailylit.com. Maybe not introducing you since some of you may have heard of it before.
Dailylit.com is a website that will send you a small portion of a book, of your choice, everyday. You decide when you want it sent and it will arrive then. For those of you who feel you have no time to sink into that classic you want to read, want to tackle Russian literature or that romance novel that would be a welcome escape, here's your chance to read in digestible portions. It may take a while to get through a book, but you will have something to talk about at that next cocktail party with your childless friends instead of sounding like a complete bore talking about how long it took you to cross reference websites and ratings of that convertible car seat that you still haven't purchased. Snore!
Check it out and let me know what you think.
Each Monday I will post something just for us. Nothing child related, I promise. These will be fun things you can do for yourself to recharge the batteries.
I'm a therapist, currently practicing part-time after the birth of my daughter. The one thing I see consistently in my practice amongst my patients who are Mothers is that few, if any, really schedule any time for themselves. This is also true amongst my Mom friends. Usually when this discussion comes up I'm asked, what do I mean by that, 'time for myself'?
I mean a chunk of interrupted time that is solely for you that you stick to on a consistent basis. I get it, it's hard to do, I know because I lost the ability to do this myself. I used to make time for myself, I know I did it's just really hard to remember. To tell you the truth, I have to think real hard to imagine what things were like for me before my life became scented with poop and curdled milk. I realize this is a problem. I thought I was a pretty cool person with lots of interests before the energizer bunny emerged from my womb, but I haven't seen that person in a long time. I miss her.
I liken Moms to watering cans. We supply the water that nurtures the seedlings. But what happens when there is no more water in the watering can? It has to be filled and it has to be filled by you! Giving yourself some time consistently each week that has nothing to do with child care, but with something that you were passionate about before the birth of your children fills that watering can.
So for today, I am introducing you to www.dailylit.com. Maybe not introducing you since some of you may have heard of it before.
Dailylit.com is a website that will send you a small portion of a book, of your choice, everyday. You decide when you want it sent and it will arrive then. For those of you who feel you have no time to sink into that classic you want to read, want to tackle Russian literature or that romance novel that would be a welcome escape, here's your chance to read in digestible portions. It may take a while to get through a book, but you will have something to talk about at that next cocktail party with your childless friends instead of sounding like a complete bore talking about how long it took you to cross reference websites and ratings of that convertible car seat that you still haven't purchased. Snore!
Check it out and let me know what you think.
Daylight savings time
I have mixed feelings about daylight savings time mostly because when it's dark out wine time comes sooner, but this morning, I am loving it. It was still so dark this morning when my daughter woke up for some milk that she went back to sleep. I took my chocolate lab out for 45 minutes to come back and find that she is still sleeping (insert celebratory music)!
My daughter is not a huge napper, although this has been somewhat changing in the last week. There is a god. On the rare occasion she actually closes her eyes and goes down, I get paralyzed and don't know what to do first. I fantasize about these 'naps' everyone talks about that I have generated elaborate plans in my head of what I would do, but when the time comes, my excitement turns to paralysis. It's like when the hottest guys talks to you out of the blue, you've practiced your responses in your head on the off chance this happens and when it does, you're basically MUTE or murmur something unintelligible! She's sleeping now and I am enjoying a peaceful cup of coffee and writing this post. I got it together. This is nice. The calm before the storm.
My daughter is not a huge napper, although this has been somewhat changing in the last week. There is a god. On the rare occasion she actually closes her eyes and goes down, I get paralyzed and don't know what to do first. I fantasize about these 'naps' everyone talks about that I have generated elaborate plans in my head of what I would do, but when the time comes, my excitement turns to paralysis. It's like when the hottest guys talks to you out of the blue, you've practiced your responses in your head on the off chance this happens and when it does, you're basically MUTE or murmur something unintelligible! She's sleeping now and I am enjoying a peaceful cup of coffee and writing this post. I got it together. This is nice. The calm before the storm.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Scene on the Street - People Acting Responsible Stories (PARS)
My car got hit the other day. Actually, the morning I returned from my birthday weekend away having puked all weekend with the stomach flu. Yeah!
I wouldn't probably have noticed my car had been hit if my husband didn't ask me about the note that seemed to be on the windshield of my car. Then we saw the damage. Surprisingly, the note was from the person who hit my car that very morning. In the note she apologized for hitting my car saying she was, "so, so sorry", had hit my car while parking and left her telephone number asking me to call her. I called, and got the voicemail for a person named "Drea."
Around 7 that evening, I got a call back. It was her. She was apologetic about the damage and the fact it had taken her all day to call me back. Wow. She had already filed a claim with her insurance department. Double WOW. What was this? No arguing, no debating, no denying responsibility, no trying to get out of it. She had a claim number and a phone number to call. Wow, wow, wow! To be sick all weekend sucked, to have my car hit sucked too, but I would have my car hit any day if it was by someone as reasonable and responsible as "Drea". Thanks, "Drea", you give me hope that my daughter will at least encounter a few of you as she makes her way into the world.
Please share your "PARS" !!!
I wouldn't probably have noticed my car had been hit if my husband didn't ask me about the note that seemed to be on the windshield of my car. Then we saw the damage. Surprisingly, the note was from the person who hit my car that very morning. In the note she apologized for hitting my car saying she was, "so, so sorry", had hit my car while parking and left her telephone number asking me to call her. I called, and got the voicemail for a person named "Drea."
Around 7 that evening, I got a call back. It was her. She was apologetic about the damage and the fact it had taken her all day to call me back. Wow. She had already filed a claim with her insurance department. Double WOW. What was this? No arguing, no debating, no denying responsibility, no trying to get out of it. She had a claim number and a phone number to call. Wow, wow, wow! To be sick all weekend sucked, to have my car hit sucked too, but I would have my car hit any day if it was by someone as reasonable and responsible as "Drea". Thanks, "Drea", you give me hope that my daughter will at least encounter a few of you as she makes her way into the world.
Please share your "PARS" !!!
Everyone loves shoes...
On a shopping note for the little ones, I just picked up a pair of Tom's shoes for my daughter on Friday. They are just about the cutest things and the purchase gives another child who is need of a pair of shoes, a pair of shoes. Winning.
You can find Tiny Tom's at www.toms.com
You can find Tiny Tom's at www.toms.com
Nothing is perfect...change your expectations
So, it' been a while since I have written. I really intended to write a bit each day, but I got a bit paralyzed. Do you ever feel like whatever you do, it has to be the best? If you don't feel that way, good for you, I'm envious. I have off days. More now than ever before and that sort of got me a bit paralyzed to write. To be truthful, the more I thought about it, the more I realized this is exactly why I started this blog. So that there could be a place to go to share, laugh and realize that you're not alone and perhaps to cut us all some slack. To find a place where we can forgive ourselves for not having it all together. Nobody does really.
I don't know about you, but I often tend to set some really high expectations of myself. I think those expectations were great when I was single or a wife. But the problem began when I didn't change those expectations with the arrival of my daughter. It lead to some real serious feelings of failure. The reality is that in your child's first years of life things do get put on hold. Even more so if you have a spouse that works a lot and is usually only around an hour before your child goes to bed and you have no family anywhere geographically close to you. It's freakin' hard. Much much harder than I had anticipated.
I think back to the idealistic month before my daughter was born thinking that within the first year of her life, I would commit myself to learning German. I'm laughing out loud as I write this...wtf was I thinking?!?! My daughter was colicky, my dad was very sick limiting my Mom's ability to fly in for a chunk of time to help and my husband has the sort of job that gave him an hour off after my daughter was born and then the emails and demands immediately resumed. I felt like a one woman show. I was a one woman show. And I thought I should be doing 'better'.
The fact is, I was doing the best I could do, but that didn't compare to those pesky expectations I had set. It's close to 14 months since my daughter's birth. I am a bit wiser and getting to that place where I can reestablish some realistic expectations of myself as a person, a wife, a mother and chocolate lab mama. I also realize that the harsh standards I expect of myself will be evident to my daughter whether I like it or not. I would never impose those standards on her, but she may if I keep this crap up with myself. B's are good, it doesn't always have to be an A.
I would love to hear your thoughts?
I don't know about you, but I often tend to set some really high expectations of myself. I think those expectations were great when I was single or a wife. But the problem began when I didn't change those expectations with the arrival of my daughter. It lead to some real serious feelings of failure. The reality is that in your child's first years of life things do get put on hold. Even more so if you have a spouse that works a lot and is usually only around an hour before your child goes to bed and you have no family anywhere geographically close to you. It's freakin' hard. Much much harder than I had anticipated.
I think back to the idealistic month before my daughter was born thinking that within the first year of her life, I would commit myself to learning German. I'm laughing out loud as I write this...wtf was I thinking?!?! My daughter was colicky, my dad was very sick limiting my Mom's ability to fly in for a chunk of time to help and my husband has the sort of job that gave him an hour off after my daughter was born and then the emails and demands immediately resumed. I felt like a one woman show. I was a one woman show. And I thought I should be doing 'better'.
The fact is, I was doing the best I could do, but that didn't compare to those pesky expectations I had set. It's close to 14 months since my daughter's birth. I am a bit wiser and getting to that place where I can reestablish some realistic expectations of myself as a person, a wife, a mother and chocolate lab mama. I also realize that the harsh standards I expect of myself will be evident to my daughter whether I like it or not. I would never impose those standards on her, but she may if I keep this crap up with myself. B's are good, it doesn't always have to be an A.
I would love to hear your thoughts?
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