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Wednesday, May 9, 2012

You Know You're a Mom When...

My daughter's preschool who is doing Mother's Day activities all week with the kids and sending crafts home each day (did I mention how awesome they are there!), sent this home yesterday.  I'm sure you can relate.  Happy almost Mother's Day!

You Know You're a Mom When...
    1. You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal.2. You find yourself cutting your husbands' sandwiches into cute shapes.
    3. You can't bear to give away baby clothes - it's so final.
    4. You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "NOT in your good clothes!"
    5. You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.
    6. You hire a sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night checking on the kids.
    7. You have time to shave only one leg at a time.
    8. You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
    9. Your kid throws up and you catch it.
    10. Someone else's kid throws up at a party. You keep eating.
    11. You use your own saliva to clean your child's face.
    12. You've mastered the art of placing large quantities of pancakes and eggs on a plate without anything touching.
    13. Your child insists that you read "Once Upon a Potty" out loud in the lobby of Grand Central Station and you do it.
    14. You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons; your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun.
    15. You hope ketchup is a vegetable, since it's the only one your child eats.
    16. You donate to charities in the hope that your child won't get that disease.
    17. Your feet stick to the kitchen floor, and you don't care.
    18. The closest you get to gourmet cooking is making Rice Krispie treats.
    19. You no longer object to cold pizza for breakfast.
    20. Your purse is crammed with emergency toys, candy and first aid supplies.
    21. You can talk on the phone, pack a lunch & breast feed all once.
    22. You wonder why it was you ever feared being alone.
    23 You spend an entire week wearing sweats.
    24. You can remove chewing gum from just about anything.
    25. You say at least once a day, "I'm not cut out for this job", but you know you wouldn't trade it for anything.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

The Shops at Target are here!

Yes, it's 4:30am, and I'm up.  The third trimester discomfort that disrupts sleep has it's advantages since The Shops at Target just went live online in the wee hours of the morning today!  They are featuring The Webster (Miami), Privet House (Connecticut), Polka Dog Bakery (Boston), The Candy Bar (San Francisco) and Cos Bar (Aspen) with limited edition affordable lines.

I anticipate the cap toe wedges from The Webster in both Pink and Tan/Natural will sell out soon, so get online and get them before the store opens!  They are the perfect summer wedge for dresses, shorts, skirts, skinny jeans and bathing suits and for $40 who can go wrong.

I have quickly browsed through all five boutiques and all have some wonderful little treats to offer.  Get online or get yourself to Target today.  Keep in mind somethings are only available online and not in the store so when you go onto each retailer, make sure click on the "online exclusives".  Happy shopping!

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Saying Goodbye

Today my daughter and I had a lunch out with my daughter's nanny who is leaving for a job in California.  It feels funny calling her a nanny because what she really became was part of our family.  She watched my daughter from the time she was 6 and a half months old.  She was there for her first steps and first words.  She treated my daughter like family and we all in turn grew to love her like family.

I still remember the day I met her at the Starbucks by my home.  My Mom was in town visiting so she came with me to interview her.  I knew we had struck gold when we found her, I felt it in my gut. She was in her mid 20s, energetic, personable, genuine, reliable, funny and  to top that off, a nurse on the postpartum unit at a nearby hospital.  Why did she want to watch an infant for a day and a half a week?  She told me she actually really liked kids and wanted something that wasn't stressful in the same way that work could be at times.  I feared immediately that she was overqualified and would leave us immediately, but that didn't happen.  She stayed until my daughter was ready to move onto preschool.

She spent her days with my daughter always doing something fun for kids.  Going to parks, playgrounds, the mall, lunch, taking her anywhere and everywhere, we trusted her completely.  She handled my daughter with love, affection and with ease.  When I came home from work we would always chat for awhile about their day together, but also about what was going on in our lives.  As a new Mother, leaving my daughter for a full day with anyone initially left me with tons of anxiety, but with her, I never felt that.  I always had the feeling that she could handle everything, sometimes better than I felt I could.

My daughter loves her which was clear today when she saw her.  After having started preschool, she hasn't seen her in a couple of months, but when she saw her she lit up.  It was "JoJo", my daughter's nickname for her.  My daughter snuggled up to her and hugged her with pure delight, she was squealing, and I was getting emotional.  My daughter was growing up.  But here in front of me was someone that I hadn't realized I had become so attached to and grown to care so much about because she cared for the most precious thing I could ever have in this world, my daughter.  As I watched my daughter hug her goodbye in the parking lot, I could feel a lump in my throat, but the full waterworks were getting close when JoJo went to leave and my daughter ran after her to her to give her one more hug.  She loves her, I could see it, and it made me feel so many different emotions from being grateful to having someone so special watch my daughter to being so sad that she was leaving.  We watched JoJo go to her car and my daughter said "we watch JoJo", so we stood in the parking lot waiting for her to pass us in her car as we waved our final goodbye.  I strapped my daughter into her carseat, got into the car and started to cry.  I didn't realize how attached I had become because essentially in taking such wonderful care of my daughter, she took care of me too and for that, I am truly grateful.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Another WTF Mom story

You've probably heard by now about the NJ Mom who took her 5 year old, FAIR SKINNED, daughter to the tanning salon.  Well, here's the story and the pictures tell it pretty darn well!

Dentist pulls ALL of her ex's teeth!

Hell hath no fury like a woman husband was kind enough to share this story with me.  What was this guy thinking going to his ex for dental work?

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Gift idea for your older daughter when the second child arrives

I am getting ready for the arrival of my second daughter and in preparation, I have spent a lot of time and thought about something special I can give to my 2 year daughter that will be meaningful and something that she can look at while I am away that will remind her that Mommy loves her too!  When she started preschool about two months ago she exhibited the normal separation anxiety that was to be expected.  So to help with that, I would give her 'transitional objects', objects used to provide emotional comfort when in a new, unique or unusual situation.  One thing that seemed to work well was giving her one of my hairbands that she would wear as a bracelet.  In turn, when I gave her one, she gave me one to wear and would bump her wrist into mine like that cartoon from the 70's where they said "wonder twins activate".

So I thought perhaps matching bracelets would be a good idea, but wasn't looking to spend a fortune on something she could potentially lose, she's a toddler!  I stumbled across a great website called  .  I ordered two of the enamel bangles which were absolutely adorable when they arrived and just about the most perfect gift I could think of getting.  Check out this website, they have a range of jewelry at all different price points, but super cute items!  I will for sure purchase from them again.

Ways You're Screwing Up Your Kids Right Now - Part 2

2. Resent your spouse or significant other
I can't tell you the number of parents who have walked into my office and have told me point blank, "our kids have no idea we are having problems."  I will tell you this as clearly as I can, that is a bunch of BULL!  One thing to remember, if you take nothing else from the words on this page, is that children know way more than you think they do.  They are attuned little things that pick up on everything from words to your non-verbal behavior.  Really?  Yes, really.

A big source of these problems in couples with young children are related to anger and resentment.  So where does all this resentment come from?  For us Moms of younger children, I consistently hear the main sources of resentment and anger comes from feeling that our spouses don't share in the domestic responsibilities, our spouses don't pay enough attention to us and that they are insensitive to our needs and concerns.  In turn, many Moms internalize these feelings because they feel guilty, bad about bombarding a spouse with these issues upon their returning home after work or simply because they don't feel their spouse will listen, care or change.  This internalization of angry feelings often times leads to angry outbursts which the other spouse feels "blindsided" by or full on meltdowns which can also cause the spouse to withdraw.  This pattern often times reenacts itself  over and over again promoting more distance between the spouses.  Most men don't like female rage, it's frightening to them, but there is a more effective solution to the issue.  It's called COMMUNICATION.

 The tricky part of this it that often times our ability to communicate in intimate relationships has it's roots in our family or origin's communication style and many times these were not the best models.  Until you figure this out, you may be reenacting your parents relationship without being consciously aware that your doing that!  First step is to think about whether or not your are communicating your feelings about the situation in the moment, and by communicating, I mean talking calmly, not letting it get to the point where you are outlining everything you're pissed off about since the beginning of your relationship 10 years ago.  That's a lot for anyone to digest.  It means you need to question, am I bringing things up as they happen and in the moment?  If you're not, you need to look at that.

Whether you are outwardly fighting, poking passive aggressive jabs at each other or simply avoiding, acting indifferent to or ignoring each other,you are not providing healthy models for your children and they know something is amiss.  Your relationship with your spouse sets a model for your children for which they will base future relationships.  Your positive relationship with your spouse provides your children with a secure base.  A secure base encourages a child's exploration of the world around them.  Without worry or anxiety about the security of the two people who are a child's world, a child feels safe to makes these explorations and take appropriate risks.  When a marriage is not strong it erodes at the child's sense of security and thus can inhibit his exploration, decrease his confidence and self-esteem and potentially cause a child to act out behaviorally.