This morning I got up earlier than I would have liked to. I hadn't slept well at all perseverating about stuff that really in the grand scheme of things I realize, intellectually, are not very important, but they were to me at 1, 2 and 3 in the morning. I didn't get much sleep and intended to get up a half hour later that my original plan, but as I've learned, when you have kids, it's not wise to bank on a plan. This is a hard pill for me to swallow. My dog was crying, he wanted to go out. I guess you could say I had already woken up on the wrong side of the bed, so when I went downstairs to get my daughter some milk, the 'I want to scream' impulse hit me. When I got midway down the stairs, I could see the carnage. My daughter's toys strewn all about the living room, dining are and into the kitchen. I was close to screaming.
Why couldn't my husband straighten up before he came up and watched that photography dvd with his noise canceling headphones in bed? He had time for that. Maybe it didn't occur to him. I don't know. It's these little things that sometimes make me feel like am a single parent. My husband works a lot and travels a good amount too. When he is gone, I don't expect him to be there and I'm not pissed that he's not helping because he is, he's working. But when he is home, on the weekends, I do get pissed when I feel like am the only parent in the house and this morning, seeing these toys thrown about set those feelings off and I wanted to scream. He made up for it by watching our daughter so that I could run. I ran instead of screaming. I felt better.
Does anyone else out there feel like screaming?
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