Here we go...

It's been a little over a year since my daughter was born, and I promised myself that after a year I would get serious about something that meant something...ah, to me.  I've always been a listener, both in friendships and in my chosen profession, so I thought if this could somehow be a forum for us Mothers, wives, partners, daughters, sisters, women to get some damn empathy then let's do it.

I love my daughter.  That being said, this past year has been like a dissociative fugue, and I am trying to understand...'what the hell just happened to me?!'.  Who am I?  For close to a year I've a described myself as a 'BOOB' and that's all I really was...all else seemed to cease.  Somehow, I got lost in the maze of boob pads, boppy pillows, Glamourmom tops, Avent vs. Dr. Brown's bottles, Swaddler's with the lines because really, you need a litmus test to tell you if your baby is wet?...I did and found comfort in paying the significant extra amount needed for this luxury which, scary enough, I didn't realize until months later.  I feel terrible for saying this and for the record this is the first and last time I will apologize for a feeling...phew, I feel better already, but I feel like I've lost so much of myself, and I know that it's true....with births there are deaths, with losses there are gains...it's how it all works, it's life.  I guess what I am saying is that I am essentially mourning the person who I was and trying to gain some sort of understanding about who I am now.  Maybe you can empathize with me on this one?  I want to know....

So here I am, on a Friday in February writing this first entry with glass of vino in hand (Alexander Valley Vineyards, Cabernet Sauvignon, Alexander Valley 2007)...which I would recommend although, this does have aging potential. Hoping that you might join me for a glass of wine and some thoughts of your own.