You Know You're a Mom When...

My daughter's preschool who is doing Mother's Day activities all week with the kids and sending crafts home each day (did I mention how awesome they are there!), sent this home yesterday.  I'm sure you can relate.  Happy almost Mother's Day!


You Know You're a Mom When...

1. You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal.2. You find yourself cutting your husbands' sandwiches into cute shapes.
3. You can't bear to give away baby clothes - it's so final.
4. You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "NOT in your good clothes!"
5. You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.
6. You hire a sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night checking on the kids.
7. You have time to shave only one leg at a time.
8. You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
9. Your kid throws up and you catch it.
10. Someone else's kid throws up at a party. You keep eating.
11. You use your own saliva to clean your child's face.
12. You've mastered the art of placing large quantities of pancakes and eggs on a plate without anything touching.
13. Your child insists that you read "Once Upon a Potty" out loud in the lobby of Grand Central Station and you do it.
14. You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons; your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun.
15. You hope ketchup is a vegetable, since it's the only one your child eats.
16. You donate to charities in the hope that your child won't get that disease.
17. Your feet stick to the kitchen floor, and you don't care.
18. The closest you get to gourmet cooking is making Rice Krispie treats.
19. You no longer object to cold pizza for breakfast.
20. Your purse is crammed with emergency toys, candy and first aid supplies.
21. You can talk on the phone, pack a lunch & breast feed all once.
22. You wonder why it was you ever feared being alone.
23 You spend an entire week wearing sweats.
24. You can remove chewing gum from just about anything.
25. You say at least once a day, "I'm not cut out for this job", but you know you wouldn't trade it for anything.

The Shops at Target are here!

Yes, it's 4:30am, and I'm up.  The third trimester discomfort that disrupts sleep has it's advantages since The Shops at Target just went live online in the wee hours of the morning today!  They are featuring The Webster (Miami), Privet House (Connecticut), Polka Dog Bakery (Boston), The Candy Bar (San Francisco) and Cos Bar (Aspen) with limited edition affordable lines.

I anticipate the cap toe wedges from The Webster in both Pink and Tan/Natural will sell out soon, so get online and get them before the store opens!  They are the perfect summer wedge for dresses, shorts, skirts, skinny jeans and bathing suits and for $40 who can go wrong.

I have quickly browsed through all five boutiques and all have some wonderful little treats to offer.  Get online or get yourself to Target today.  Keep in mind somethings are only available online and not in the store so when you go onto each retailer, make sure click on the "online exclusives".  Happy shopping!

http://www.target.com/c/The-Shops-at-Target/-/N-56f52

Saying Goodbye

Today my daughter and I had a lunch out with my daughter's nanny who is leaving for a job in California.  It feels funny calling her a nanny because what she really became was part of our family.  She watched my daughter from the time she was 6 and a half months old.  She was there for her first steps and first words.  She treated my daughter like family and we all in turn grew to love her like family.

I still remember the day I met her at the Starbucks by my home.  My Mom was in town visiting so she came with me to interview her.  I knew we had struck gold when we found her, I felt it in my gut. She was in her mid 20s, energetic, personable, genuine, reliable, funny and  to top that off, a nurse on the postpartum unit at a nearby hospital.  Why did she want to watch an infant for a day and a half a week?  She told me she actually really liked kids and wanted something that wasn't stressful in the same way that work could be at times.  I feared immediately that she was overqualified and would leave us immediately, but that didn't happen.  She stayed until my daughter was ready to move onto preschool.

She spent her days with my daughter always doing something fun for kids.  Going to parks, playgrounds, the mall, lunch, taking her anywhere and everywhere, we trusted her completely.  She handled my daughter with love, affection and with ease.  When I came home from work we would always chat for awhile about their day together, but also about what was going on in our lives.  As a new Mother, leaving my daughter for a full day with anyone initially left me with tons of anxiety, but with her, I never felt that.  I always had the feeling that she could handle everything, sometimes better than I felt I could.

My daughter loves her which was clear today when she saw her.  After having started preschool, she hasn't seen her in a couple of months, but when she saw her she lit up.  It was "JoJo", my daughter's nickname for her.  My daughter snuggled up to her and hugged her with pure delight, she was squealing, and I was getting emotional.  My daughter was growing up.  But here in front of me was someone that I hadn't realized I had become so attached to and grown to care so much about because she cared for the most precious thing I could ever have in this world, my daughter.  As I watched my daughter hug her goodbye in the parking lot, I could feel a lump in my throat, but the full waterworks were getting close when JoJo went to leave and my daughter ran after her to her to give her one more hug.  She loves her, I could see it, and it made me feel so many different emotions from being grateful to having someone so special watch my daughter to being so sad that she was leaving.  We watched JoJo go to her car and my daughter said "we watch JoJo", so we stood in the parking lot waiting for her to pass us in her car as we waved our final goodbye.  I strapped my daughter into her carseat, got into the car and started to cry.  I didn't realize how attached I had become because essentially in taking such wonderful care of my daughter, she took care of me too and for that, I am truly grateful.

Another WTF Mom story

You've probably heard by now about the NJ Mom who took her 5 year old, FAIR SKINNED, daughter to the tanning salon.  Well, here's the story and the pictures tell it pretty darn well!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2138197/New-Jersey-mother-Patricia-Krentcil-arrested-daughter-5-burned-tanning-booth.html?ICO=most_read_module

Dentist pulls ALL of her ex's teeth!

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...my husband was kind enough to share this story with me.  What was this guy thinking going to his ex for dental work?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2136265/Dentist-Anna-Mackowiak-pulled-ALL-boyfriend-Marek-Olszewski-s-teeth-dumped-her.html

Gift idea for your older daughter when the second child arrives

I am getting ready for the arrival of my second daughter and in preparation, I have spent a lot of time and thought about something special I can give to my 2 year daughter that will be meaningful and something that she can look at while I am away that will remind her that Mommy loves her too!  When she started preschool about two months ago she exhibited the normal separation anxiety that was to be expected.  So to help with that, I would give her 'transitional objects', objects used to provide emotional comfort when in a new, unique or unusual situation.  One thing that seemed to work well was giving her one of my hairbands that she would wear as a bracelet.  In turn, when I gave her one, she gave me one to wear and would bump her wrist into mine like that cartoon from the 70's where they said "wonder twins activate".

So I thought perhaps matching bracelets would be a good idea, but wasn't looking to spend a fortune on something she could potentially lose, she's a toddler!  I stumbled across a great website called http://www.thejewelryvine.com/  .  I ordered two of the enamel bangles which were absolutely adorable when they arrived and just about the most perfect gift I could think of getting.  Check out this website, they have a range of jewelry at all different price points, but super cute items!  I will for sure purchase from them again.

Ways You're Screwing Up Your Kids Right Now - Part 2

2. Resent your spouse or significant other
I can't tell you the number of parents who have walked into my office and have told me point blank, "our kids have no idea we are having problems."  I will tell you this as clearly as I can, that is a bunch of BULL!  One thing to remember, if you take nothing else from the words on this page, is that children know way more than you think they do.  They are attuned little things that pick up on everything from words to your non-verbal behavior.  Really?  Yes, really.

A big source of these problems in couples with young children are related to anger and resentment.  So where does all this resentment come from?  For us Moms of younger children, I consistently hear the main sources of resentment and anger comes from feeling that our spouses don't share in the domestic responsibilities, our spouses don't pay enough attention to us and that they are insensitive to our needs and concerns.  In turn, many Moms internalize these feelings because they feel guilty, bad about bombarding a spouse with these issues upon their returning home after work or simply because they don't feel their spouse will listen, care or change.  This internalization of angry feelings often times leads to angry outbursts which the other spouse feels "blindsided" by or full on meltdowns which can also cause the spouse to withdraw.  This pattern often times reenacts itself  over and over again promoting more distance between the spouses.  Most men don't like female rage, it's frightening to them, but there is a more effective solution to the issue.  It's called COMMUNICATION.

 The tricky part of this it that often times our ability to communicate in intimate relationships has it's roots in our family or origin's communication style and many times these were not the best models.  Until you figure this out, you may be reenacting your parents relationship without being consciously aware that your doing that!  First step is to think about whether or not your are communicating your feelings about the situation in the moment, and by communicating, I mean talking calmly, not letting it get to the point where you are outlining everything you're pissed off about since the beginning of your relationship 10 years ago.  That's a lot for anyone to digest.  It means you need to question, am I bringing things up as they happen and in the moment?  If you're not, you need to look at that.

Whether you are outwardly fighting, poking passive aggressive jabs at each other or simply avoiding, acting indifferent to or ignoring each other,you are not providing healthy models for your children and they know something is amiss.  Your relationship with your spouse sets a model for your children for which they will base future relationships.  Your positive relationship with your spouse provides your children with a secure base.  A secure base encourages a child's exploration of the world around them.  Without worry or anxiety about the security of the two people who are a child's world, a child feels safe to makes these explorations and take appropriate risks.  When a marriage is not strong it erodes at the child's sense of security and thus can inhibit his exploration, decrease his confidence and self-esteem and potentially cause a child to act out behaviorally.

Ways You're Screwing Up Your Kid Right Now

As someone who works with children and families, I feel fortunate to have had many families come to my office seeking help for a variety of issues.  Fortunate, because in the many years I have seen these families they have shared with me the many challenges and struggles they have faced in rearing children. In those stories, have been many valuable lessons that theory cannot teach.

  Over the next few posts, I will share the top five things that I consistently hear, perhaps it might cause someone to think a little differently.  I will say it has caused me to change my way of thinking for sure.

1.  Lack Consistency
This is a biggie.  It starts from the time your child comes home from the hospital and continues throughout their childhood.  Consistency is essential to the healthy emotional development of children.  Why?  Well, it teaches children that there are things they can trust in this world, and trust develops a sense of safety and stability and feelings of safety and stability decrease anxiety which allows children to develop in important ways such as socially, academically and physically.  Consistency concretely translates into such things as feeding your children at the same time or on demand in infancy, putting your child to bed at the same time every night, being consistent with consequences to mention a few.   Keeping routines is an integral part of being consistent as a parent.   Kids thrive with routine because they know what to expect which can also begin to instill that important sense of responsibility that we want children to develop as they grow.   It's never to early to begin to be consistent with your children.

Mother's Day - Tory Burch

Because your spouse is probably not trolling the internet for deals on women's fashion and handbags, you can let him know that Tory Burch is offering 25% off most of her site (sorry, excluding the Reva flats and a few other things detailed on the website) until April 30th.  It's a pretty good deal, no?  It's called the "Friends and Fans" event.

Make it easy on your significant other and tell them what you want this Mother's Day.  She does have some cute nylon totes that are great for Moms with young kids with their leaky bottles or sippy cups!  If you're fortunate to be out of that stage, there are many other great bags that convert from shoulder bag to clutch!  Gotta love a bag that has two functions.

http://www.toryburch.com/on/demandware.store/Sites-ToryBurch_US-Site/default/Default-Start?CAMPID=GOOGLE&gclid=CJr75vO-168CFUbe4AodfmRs_w

Alaina Giordano Update

For those of you who haven't followed Alaina's story, she could use some prayers now.  As reported by her facebook page, she has spent several days in the hospital and will be moved to hospice.  You can read more at her facebook page.

http://www.facebook.com/friendsofalaina

"Fifty" ways to escape your life if just for a moment!

I hesitated writing a post about these books since it seemed to me that everyone and their Mother, my Mother included, had read and or heard about them, but I have found that's not quite the case so I thought I would pass it on.

I have to thank my sister for telling me about them a couple of months ago.  The books are a trilogy with the first book title "Fifty Shades of Grey"  written by E.L. James.   For those of you who devoured the "Twilight" series, but were looking for a little more sex early on instead of waiting for the last book, then this is for YOU!  There is no shortage of sex in this trilogy, so much so that I found myself forwarding through my kindle at times in book 2 and 3 during the sex scenes since I wanted to get back to what would happen next with the main characters, Anastasia and Christian.  The books are like your favorite candy that you can't get enough of and feel somewhat sad when the box is done.

It's only available as an E book right now.

Passover Dessert Recipe - Matzoh Crunch!

This is a REALLY easy recipe and it's highly addictive, so don't say you weren't warned!

What you will neeed:

-4-6 unsalted matzohs
-2 sticks unsalted butter (Kosher for Passover)
-1 cup packed brown sugar (I use light brown sugar)
-3/4 cup chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 375.  Line a large cookie sheet with foil first (this can be messy and very sticky) and then on top of the foil line it with parchment paper.

Line the parchment paper with the matzoh (they can slightly overlap one another).

In a large sauce pan, combine the butter and brown sugar.  Cook it over medium heat, continuously stirring until the mixture comes to a boil in about 2-4 minutes.  Boil for 3 minutes, still stirring.  Remove from heat and pour over the matzoh covering completely (you may need to use a spoon to spread the mixture evenly).

Place the matzoh in the oven and reduce the heat to 350.  Bake for 15 minutes.

Remove from the oven and immediately sprinkle with chocolate chips.  Let it sit for 5 minutes without touching it.  Then spread the melted chocolate over the matzoh.  Place pans in the refrigerator to chill for several hours.  When you remove it, break the large sheet of caramel/chocolate covered matzoh into smaller pieces.

You can get creative and use white or dark chocolate as well as topping the chocolate with nuts or other types of crushed candies.  This stuff never lasts long in my house and for good reason, it rocks!  Happy Passover!

Happy Passover

My daughter's school did several lessons this week on both Passover and Easter.  We celebrate Passover and when my daughter was asked what we would be having at our Seder, she replied "Pizza and wine."  (There is a local pizza joint that makes Passover Pizza, although we've never had it.)

Sounds like a good Seder to me!  Azizen Peseach, as I hear her singing her version of "Dayenu" behind me as she sets up her kiddie table with her plastic Seder plate and kiddush cup.

Waivers for Playdates??

Madness.  It has to be.  Apparently, from news articles and such, this is a growing trend.  Sure, I have be given waivers for birthday parties or events that are hosted at Gyms and such, but at someone's home  for just a playdate sounds rather absurd.  This is one of the reasons you have homeowner's insurance.  

I have yet to be asked to sign one of these nutty documents and haven't heard of anyone I know personally  being asked to sign one, but I will say that if I were to be asked, it would tell me a lot about that parent and my daughter definitely would not be hanging out at that house.

Bad behavior at egg hunts isn't uncommon

Seriously, people!  I just saw this article on Huffington Post after my experience yesterday and was both saddened and unfortunately, not surprised that some parents are ruining the fun.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/26/colorado-egg-hunt_n_1379226.html

Eggstraspecial Egg Hunt

I decided to venture out early yesterday morning for my daughter's first egg hunt.  I had only fond memories of the few egg hunts I had participated in, so I thought it would be lots of fun.  After getting my daughter her hunt accessories, bunny ears and basket a la Target totaling $3.00, we headed to the hunt.  Due to the possibility of inclement weather, it was being hosted in a school.  Walking up to the school, it should have registered that this was going to be something 'special'.

I heard Mother's on the street telling their spouses, friends, or other parents that they were being 'scolded' at the door for bringing their strollers.  We live in a city, people walk and not everyone got online to see that the event organizers had asked for people to leave their wheels at home due to  a lack of space in the school.  So, already, there were some hot tempers beginning to flare and some decided to just leave.

I waited on the line to get in which took about 10 minutes to get to the registration table.  I got my hunt instructions which spelled out in black and white that 'adults were not to participate in collecting eggs'...did they really need to say that?  I guess they did for good reason if they printed out these instructions that the were giving all registrants!  The next instruction was that no child could collect more than '10 eggs' otherwise you would be charged.  That sounded fair since while on line to get in I heard some parents talking about how they had their son 'practicing' to get as many eggs as fast as he could so he could 'win'.  He was about the same age as my daughter, 2.  There was no mention of there being winners at the 0-3 year old egg hunt.  ????

Anyhow, this egg hunt was one disorganized mess.  People were crowding into close quarters and pushing each other to get to the head of the line with no one actually clarifying what on earth was going on.  It was hot, kids were cranky and parents were getting even crankier.  Parents were trying to cut the line, I was cut off twice, but decided not to say a word since if it's so important for you to cut a line at an egg hunt, you already have enough problems that I actually feel sorry for you.

 Older kids were ahead of the little ones who were supposed to go first and the breaking point for me was when a Mom decided to start F-bombing another Mother, quite loudly I might add, behind her accusing her of pushing, which I don't doubt was going on since, I was being pushed as well with really nowhere to go.   But at that point, I was sandwiched in the midst of a sea of people and would have to push my way out.  After waiting an hour and a half to get some cheap plastic eggs, I decided we would head straight to the store to get some of our own and create our own hunt at home without F-bombing parents and those parents who are grooming their children for the Olympics of Egg Hunts.

Israel Bans Underweight Models

Israel has banned underweight models and if magazines have used photo retouching to make that model look thinner than she already is, they must note that in the advertisement.  This is encouraging.  Read the article below.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/20/israel-bans-underweight-models_n_1366435.html

Smoking in the car with your kids?

As a child who grew up with a smoker who didn't quit smoking until I was well out of the house in college, I can tell you it is a disgusting experience to be locked in a car with a parent who smokes whether the damn windows are up OR down.   As an adult and now a parent myself, when I see adults smoking in the car with children, I'm thinking, who the hell are you to take your addiction and put your children in a position where they have no choice.  Especially with all the hardcore medical research out there telling us the impact of not only smoking, but second hand smoking and now third hand smoke!  Yes, denial is a powerful thing.

 Smoking is one of the hardest addictions to give up.  It is and I get that.  I watched my Dad try to quit several times throughout my life.  And I'm not saying that people have to quit.  They may not want to quit.  But placing others, namely children whose bodies are still developing, is downright irresponsible, neglectful and selfish.

Thankfully, some states are moving to tackle this issue, mainly related to smoking while having children in the car.  Maryland is close to passing this into law.  It's about time.  Nice job Maryland!

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/dc-politics/md-senate-passes-bill-to-ban-smoking-in-cars-holding-young-passengers/2012/03/14/gIQAFxv3CS_story.html

Fell off the Wagon

Finding out we were expecting our second child a few months ago sent my mind in a bit of a tizzy...oh my god, was I going to go through this all over again?!?!?!  My daughter had just hit an awesome stage.  She could go out and do stuff, talk, tell me what she wants, interact and here I was getting ready to go down the sleepless nights, breastfeeding on demand, cluster feeding, a gazillion diaper changes a day, leaky boob path.   Crap!  And I can't go out and really enjoy an evening of wine...double crap!  But I have come to a different place and am looking forward to adding another little girl to our family, yes, another girl, so not a lot of shopping that needs to be done here!  Just a few more months to go!!